Funny Ways to Break up with Someone
"Slowly start selling all their stuff on ebay. "
Breaking up with someone is never easy and while it is best to break up with someone with some class and dignity there may just be those moments in life when you don’t give a damn and just want to be funny, random, or as awkward as possible. You are in luck! We are going to go over some ridiculous and funny ways to break up with someone. I just urge you, with extreme fake concern… be careful. One person’s humor is another person's punch in the face, slap across the cheek, or keyed car. So use with caution, or, in fact, just don’t use any of these at all if you are concerned about living. Some of these suggestions are not necessarily ways for you to directly break up with the person, but they will certainly make them break up with you!\
Breaking up with someone is never easy and while it is best to break up with someone with some class and dignity there may just be those moments in life when you don’t give a damn and just want to be funny, random, or as awkward as possible. You are in luck! We are going to go over some ridiculous and funny ways to break up with someone. I just urge you, with extreme fake concern… be careful. One person’s humor is another person's punch in the face, slap across the cheek, or keyed car. So use with caution, or, in fact, just don’t use any of these at all if you are concerned about living. Some of these suggestions are not necessarily ways for you to directly break up with the person, but they will certainly make them break up with you!\
List of Ways to Break up with Someone
- Hand the person a check for $1.00 and in the memo write “Break Up Fee”
- Go to the pet store, buy an owl, carefully wrap the owl and give it to your future ex partner. As you they unwrap the bird simply say “Owl always love you, but our time has come to part.” and when they say “Are you serious?” simply respond “Hoo, me!!?” and run away laughing.
- Get matching tattoos and then show up a week later with an “X” write through the tattoo. Hilarious for everyone!
- Buy them a house plant and simply say “I’m leaving you, but maybe this house plant will be able to handle your constant nagging.” Make sure the house plant is a cactus.
- If you are a woman: “Surprise! I’m Pregnant!.... Just kidding, I am breaking up with you.”
- If you are a man: “I’m in love with your mother.... Just kidding, I don’t want to date anymore.”
- Text them something naughty and follow that up with “Oops, wrong person.”
- Slowly start selling all their stuff on ebay.
- Conspicuously leave your journal out and have their name crossed off over and over on every page. When confronted tell them that you are “just practicing.”
- Start repeating everything back to them.
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